Computer Woes...

You may have noticed a drop-off on posts...that is because both of our computers are down for the count.  Until I can afford a solution or find a replacement, posts will be few and far between.

Please let me know if you can help.

Update! September 2015

Life is still chugging along.  Another school year has began, along with planning for Christmas.

All is well in our Brain Cancer world health wise....still battling head aches, nausea, and things, but dealing.  Living on less income has been a real challenge.  It makes we wish we had saved more money.  The fact that we are still barely getting by on far less income lets me know we could have definitely spent less and save more before cancer.

I know, now, I appreciate kindness and those special small moments more...honestly, it is the one thing I think cancer gives you.  I wouldn't call it "clarity" by any means, but there is a noticeable difference on how I react to seeing true kindness and those moments that make you smile, like a good picture or something you kid does.  I am pretty sure before cancer, I missed many of those.

So, here are a few of those moments...

Meet Jason. 27...Air Force Vet...Husband/Father...Brain Cancer.

Let me start by reminding everyone of one thing....

Brain Cancer is ruthless and devastating.

Recently, though a friend, was introduced to Jason's story.

Stationed over-seas, in the Air Force,  Young family...baby at home...and next thing you know, boom....Brain Cancer.

I am just learning his story and dare not make a mistake when telling it...but here is a link to his fundraiser:  DONATE!

I am trying help them with finding resources.  Currently, logistic military "red tape" is keeping him over-seas and holding up his post-operative treatments...something that could affect his chances of survival.  Our Military's politics and healthcare is ridiculous.

You will see more posts about these guys.  Please, DONATE or at least SHARE the fundraiser on your social media outlets....it is the least we can do.

UPDATE 9/10/2015 - Jason and family are back home in Tennessee, about to crank up treatment.

Taking Chances After Cancer

Like it or not, cancer changes who you are.  As a matter of fact, it changes the ones around you, as well.  For some, your outlook on life seems to come from a different angle.

Before cancer, I dreamed of being more adventurous in life...as most of us did in our youth.  Going somewhere new and even hoped to run my own business some day.  I was conservative, but willing to take chances.  After cancer, though, I am finding harder and harder to take chances.  For instance, I an scared to change jobs.  My income is our main income, along with the source of our health insurance...how can I gamble with that?  Moving away from my support system and from who/what/where I know also seems to be risky decision to make.  Then, of course, are the financial challenges that come with attempting to achieve those dreams.  "Adventure" has been replaced with "routine", "responsibility" and a seemingly never-ending cycle that you never really get ahead of...and though I might be spoiled compared to people in some parts of the world, most people around me seem to enjoy life a little more then we do.

There are a thousand different sayings to support taking a "leap of faith", but I find it very hard to think, plan, and work towards a future when the present isn't even sure.  Does that make sense?

I know where I am at in life is not very satisfying.  I want more for my family.  Cancer has not made realizing or planning those dreams seem even harder to imagine, much less accomplish.  Life should be an adventure, but maybe that is more about approach then results.

Since ones outlook on life can seemingly be thrust about by near calamity, I suppose it should also be adjustable through frame of mind and approach...so I am going to give that whirl and see what comes of it...as always, I will keep you posted.

Wow! Over 200 views in one day!

I rarely look at the number views or "impressions" from my blogs.  I blog because I like it and about things I am passionate about.  At one time, I averaged about 100 views a day, but since posts are farther apart, those numbers had dropped a lot the past year.  Yesterday was a really good day for the blog, though.  Over 200 views in one day.  Was it my writing or the Beyonce Chicken Dance video?  We may never know!

Thanks to all my readers!  You make blogging even better!!!

Music Connection

Musicians are usually very interesting people. I love reaching out to them when I learn their tunes. Most the time, they never reply, but today one did. Pretty cool, really. Dan Baird was the singer/songwriter/guitarist behind Georgia Satellites. I sent him an email asking about some of the back story about "Sweet Blue Midnight" and "Another Chance", two tunes I have been tooling on. I mentioned how I seem to connect to tunes differently since Melissa's cancer, and that both kind of hit close to home with me now. Here is his response...

Hi Charles

I'll tackle the easy one first.
That would be another chance.
Turn the chords to Ooh-la-la around.
Get a catchy first line. Start singing about the 3 stages of life, birth, middle age and death, then write an honest chorus about when you'd like to go. Aka - when you're done. Remembering that if you're gonna rip off Ronnie Lane, do a good damn job.
Then arrange it like a vocal by "The Band" where it gets passed around.
Have your drummer go to bass, bassist go to mandolin, and unplug your 2 guitar guys.

Sweet Blue Midnight is a fair-thee-well to someone who's falling out of love with you.
You don't want it to happen, hope it's not happening, but it is.
And finally the acceptance of future absence. Hence "close my eyes, and let it go, (I) tried to be the kind of man".
Yet there is a desire for the old comfort, even though it's not possible anymore.
If you want more personal than that, I'm not gonna help. It's too personal.

Glad you enjoyed the songs, so sorry about your wife. Tell her that I've had an epiphany in my past. The spirit that came to me didn't bother with a name, but let me know one thing; there is more.
Peace to you both
db

Surviving Isn't Everything

I found the following on a website about brain injuries...

HERE

I think is speaks volumes of what I deal with on a daily basis.  

Many think that surviving cancer means you can just move on and go about your life.  For some kinds of cancer, that is case, but not with brain cancer.  The injuries caused by the cancer, surgeries, and treatment do irreversible brain damage.  It has proved to be more difficult than dealing with the mortality issues that come with cancer (for me, anyways - cargiver).  I deal with things impossible to explain.  My wife is oblivious to these things, which makes talking about them or attempting to treat them nearly impossible.  Just remember, with brain cancer, surviving is just part of the struggle.

"Millions of people are seemingly affected with brain injury now a days. And the effect does not only fall on the person injured himself but even to those family members and everybody surrounds him. Most of the time, we think about the caregiver as always the victim, but what should be considered is not about who was or will be hurt or directly affected but rather, other issues that would arise within the family members which will create conflict.

Issues that needs to be faced when a loved one has a brain injury is not only limited to emotions finances and physical well-being of the caregiver. Every member of the family and even those that surrounds the brain injured loved one must be obliged to adjust as quickly as possible in order for them to provide proper care and be able to meet their needs.

People with brain injury must be understood and accepted and if possible, the family should join a support group who could help provide strength, wisdom, and much-needed encouragement along the way. Also, the injured individual along with its caregiver must adjust with each other. Concerns like emotional, behavioral and cognitive development might not come out as expected, so much adjustment must be made.

Person with brain injury most of the time, act unbecomingly, easily irritated and is not aware of how he acts, so the caregiver must be patient and supportive physically and emotionally."

This next statement speaks to why I blog about these things...

"Taking care of a person who has brain injury requires a lot of time, emotions and even physical endurance. They depend too much on their caregiver so in return; caregiver must be encouraged by people who are in the same situation."

Another Clean MRI

Melissa had ANOTHER clean MRI today!  Yeah!

Birthdays and MRI's!

Our son Michael turned 8 today.  Seems like only yesterday he looked like this...

...and now he is....

He is literally the best thing I have done with my life.  Just about every day he finds a way to make me proud of him, despite a fair level of mischief.  Happy Birthday to the best son a man could have.


MRI's!  Yes....Melissa has one coming up.  She has had some issues the past few months with head-aches, in particularly, behind her eye of that side.  I suppose you never stop worrying before these things.  I will post a follow up after we get the results.

The Music Never Stopped

In Spring and early Summer, you will find me humming a tune....one that seemingly haunts me every year (in a good way) on just about every pretty day.

"There's mosquito's on the river.  Fish are rising up like birds.  It's been hot for several weeks now.  Did you hear what I just heard?"

...here, listen for yourself - CLICK HERE

For me, though...when this whole cancer shtuff started, the music did stop.  When my wife got sick, a lot of things stopped for me.  I am not complaining, but there was only time for so much.  Playing music took a back seat...and time passed.  Now that something things are setting down, I am trying to get back to playing music and it has been very challenging.  Songs I know and connected to before seem foreign....and licks or songs that used to be difficult have come somewhat easy.  The connection of the mind, soul, and music is such a unique, primal connection...have I really changed that much?  I plan to push through.  The music is in here...it has always been here, I just need to find it again...find myself again.

Update! May 2015

No news is good news, in the cancer world....and there is no medical news to report.

May is Brain Cancer Awareness month...

and besides a few posts/shares on social media, I have not done much this year to spread awareness.  Spreading awareness is something that everyone touched by brain cancer should make time to do.  This year, the month was over before I knew it.  I have to admit, between being busy at work and being swamped at home, I have not had much time to myself.

On a brighter note...the pool is open...and my son loving it.

I am sun burnt already.

Summer is here.

Jess + The Mess

Found a great Brain Cancer blog through an interesting story.  Jess lost her husband to brain cancer.  Ryan lost his wife to brain cancer.  They both have big families.  They fall in love....what are the odds?

Check out their BLOG!

You can find several stories there, including the interview on the Today Show!

Helping My Friend

I can count on one hand the main people who shaped who I am.  Besides my parents, my dear friend Bill Page was one of them.  I was best friends with his son, Billy, when I first met Bill.  He was intimidating but, at the same time, fascinating.  He showed me so many little things...things that I would adopt and weave into who I am.  My love of good coffee...my love for a good spaghetti diner...how to properly enjoy a movie...D&D and fantasy gaming...my love for the Grateful Dead...how to enjoy a simple trip to the mall...I could go on and on.  Even what I do for a living is because of him, as he exposed me to computers for the first time around 1989 or so.  Eventually I was a computer whiz, even running my own Bulletin Board Service (BBS), which was what social media was BEFORE the internet.

The many stories we shared and good times we had I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Now, he needs my help.

Living is very expensive if you are healthy...so what do you do when you get sick?

My friend started having heart troubles many years ago.  As his condition deteriorated, so did his ability to work.  By the time of his passing, he didn't have much left.

Please, donate and help me lay my friend to rest.  The link below is to his fundraiser.  Donate if you can!  Share if you are willing!

http://www.gofundme.com/u9bnns?fb_action_ids=1078739745487195&fb_action_types=og.shares

Please help!

May is Brain Cancer Awareness Month

May is Brain Cancer Awareness month!  Please help raise awareness for this terrible disease.  The more people that know, the more that care, the more research is done, and the closer we get to a cure.

Brain Tumors Are Nothing to Joke About

According to several reports on a new Vanity Fair expose', Brian Williams still couldn't bring himself to out-right admit about his lies, but instead, used a brain tumor as a possible excuse.

Reports included the following quote...

“(He said,) ‘Did something happen to (my) head? Maybe I had a brain tumor, or something in my head,’” a source told the magazine in its upcoming piece. “He just didn’t know. We just didn’t know. We had no clear sense what had happened. We got the best (apology) we could get.”

A brain tumor is a very serious disease called CANCER, that happens to real people, you know, who live in REALITY, a place Brian Williams must travel in and out of regularly.

Brain tumors kills innocent children, parents, spouses, loved ones, senators, and just about most of the people who personally encounter being diagnosed with one.

A brain tumor should never be used as some half-witted excuse for someone who is being exposed as a compulsive liar.

Brain tumors are not funny.

Ken Burns - The Emperor of All Maladies

Trailer HERE!

Busy Living!

It has been too long since I last updated the blog...and that is a good thing.  Life is moving!

Melissa is doing well.  Less doctors...still some struggles, but we all have our struggles.

Our son is doing great in school and is enjoying Scouting.

I suppose no news in kind of good news, as far as "cancer blogging" goes.

Until the next post...

The Meaning Of Life

Yesterday, my 7yo son asked, "What is the meaning of life?"  I am not sure what inspired such a philosophical question from such a young kid.  At first I responded with a common response, "If I had the answer to that questions, I would be a wealthy man."  As much as I wanted to just reply with "living life to the fullest", I was not sure he would understand that and I was not about to give up a chance to give him a crumb of wisdom.  After some thought, I told him that there is no one meaning to life, but you will know them when you see them.  He seemed puzzled.  I went on to explain that sometimes you will realize you were meant to do something.  My example to him was the fact that I am his dad.  I didn't explain all of this to him, but when we first got the opportunity to raise Michael, I was not sure we were ready, but the very first day we cared for him as our own, I knew I was meant to be his dad....and I feel blessed to be his dad.  Being his father was part of my "Meaning of Life".  Though I didn't have elaborate with him further, I suppose some other "Meanings of Life" included marrying Melissa, caring for her while she was sick, playing music, and becoming a Redskins fan, to name just a few.  I am sure there are others that include friends and loved ones, but you get my drift.

Honestly, it is good question to ask yourself, from time to time.

What is the meaning of life?

Why Does An MRI Cost So Much In America?

I read this article in the Washington Post about healthcare costs and how some are cheaper in other countries.  It mentions an MRI in the USA costing just over $1K...which is incorrect for most Brain Cancer patients.  BC patients MRI's (w/contrasts and many images) cost in upwards of $6K per scan.  A recent change to my health insurance means my personal responsibility is over $1k per scan...and coming off 4 scans a year, well, you can do the math.  "Affordable Healthcare" is a joke...there will likely never be that in America in my lifetime, if ever.  You might stop the cancer in your body, but rest assured, it is even hard to stop the cancer that invades you finances...and the cure for that is well known but goes unused by the current healthcare business models...kindness.

Finally...A New Bed

Prior to just a few days ago, neither me nor Melissa ever owned a new bed.  Even as a kid, I always had a hand-me-down mattress.  Some were better then others, but never a new bed.  We never spend money on ourselves.  A meal hear or there...but rarely (and I do mean rarely) do we have the money or the gumption to treat our selves...so this year, I was damn determined to buy a new bed and did so.  We got one of the cheapest name brand mattresses you could buy (which for those who have shopped mattresses, you know is still expensive) but it has been amazing.  I am not sure Melissa has enjoyed it quite as much as me, even though I could sleep soundly on a bag of rocks.  My back stopped hurting (as bad) and, much like a new car or outfit, there is a moral boosting effect to having something new that you worked so hard for.

Cheers to a new bed folks!  Everyone needs one.

Brain Cancer Fact

A Dog On A Mission

Great story.  I love dogs.  They are so loyal to their owners.

http://www.wusa9.com/story/life/pets/2015/02/13/dog-walks-20-blocks-owner-hospital/23346481/

Amazingly Honest Post

I love blogs.  You can find some of the most honest posts in the internet on blogs.  This blog post (and blog) are a great read.  If you have a friend or loved one with Cancer, you NEED to read this...

What your friends with Cancer what to say (but are afraid to say).

New Blog! #Foodginia

Blogging is not only a hobby, but it is a passion of mine....and so is food.  I blog about cancer, Redskins and now food.

Check it out!  Foodginia!

Another Clean MRI!

Today is a....

Melissa had another clean MRI today!  

This calls for a celebration!

Why Yes, We Should Treat Cancer

Must-Read response to a recent story about a Dr. who thinks dying from cancer is the "perfect way to die".

http://www.forbes.com/sites/elaineschattner/2015/01/05/why-yes-we-should-treat-cancer/

MRI Season!

Melissa has an MRI next week.  I think after this one, she gets more time in between MRI's, too...so it is kind of a milestone.

Farewell Stuart Scott

I always respected and enjoyed Stuart Scott on ESPN.  As fans morn his loss, we each must remember cancer sucks but it does not define you.

I think Scott, himself, said it best (at this past July's ESPY Awards):

"When you die, that does not mean you lose to cancer.  You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live."

See his entire speech here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl_0ieqSi7Q

As far as "Farewells", the classy Rich Eisen said it best...

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=12118983