Like anyone dealing with Cancer, I have done all kinds of research. Recently I read up on a topic I had hoped to avoid for a long time...end of life care. The very first thing I read was: "Be brave enough to have the conversation on what really matters." Wow...that's some deep shit.
I have spoken with her doctors about her current condition. They said though treatments might make her MRI's look better she will never regain the cognitive functions she has already lost. The treatment side effects, how they are administered, and the amount of effort they would take would certainly put a major strain on her...or as she put it, more torture. All those pokes, needles, IV's, doctors offices...all for maybe a few weeks or a month more...all with the same end result. All that suffering for little-to-no results doesn't make any sense. I have talked with her, her mom, her closest friend and we have all decided it is time to enter palliative care. Her doctors and all of us feel that what really matters here is her quality of life. Palliative or hospice care will provide her with the best overall quality of life for the little time she has left.
This is by no means giving up or in to cancer. Cancer is not a battle, despite the name of this blog. No one wins or loses. You can't fight something that is out of your control...all you can do is deal with whatever it throws at you. That is what this decision is about...dealing with the situation, focusing on what really matters...quality of life and the quality of the time left to live.
Now is the time to send your prayers, positive vibes, good energy...whatever it is you subscribe too, it is all welcomed and so needed. If you are taking the time to read this, we love you!
Perfectly written. We have to love her enough to let her go as happy & as pain free as we can. Although our hearts are breaking, she needs to see only happiness & love from us. We can not burden her with our pain of losing her. We have to be able to celebrate having her in our lives for as long as we have. How blessed our lives have been for having the love & light that has shown though this beautiful spirit we call Melissa.
ReplyDeleteI've said before that I'm sorry that you're having to make these choices, and that still applies. However, I'm also glad that you're brave enough to make them. As Mary said above, we should all be thankful for the time that we've had with Melissa. Please continue to let me know if there's anything that I can do.
ReplyDeleteI've said before that I'm sorry that you're having to make these choices, and that still applies. However, I'm also glad that you're brave enough to make them. As Mary said above, we should all be thankful for the time that we've had with Melissa. Please continue to let me know if there's anything that I can do.
ReplyDeleteFriend my prayers are with you and your family. My wife Tracee who also graduated with the both of us does hospice care. Some people come out of it and many don't but life is precious so our time here is very important especially to those we hold dearest please be in touch and as I mentioned my wife would be happy to assist as we both pray Melissa's prognosis will become more positive. Love you childhood friend!
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