Update - 8/23/2013

Melissa is doing a bit better right now.  Little man is on his summer stint with Grandma and Papa.  The break from the day-to-day with little man has really helped motivate her some.  It is funny how much one 6yo can take out of you.  She could really use someone to be pushing her to get up, walk, get outside, sustain some physical activity...it kills me to go to work when my real job should be at home, helping her recover, because little to no one else is helping....some people just need a motivator and hers goes to work 40+ hrs a week.  Besides, a husband can only push but so hard before he is in the dog-house, someplace I specializing in NOT being in (if at all possible).

School will be back next week...little man and mommy are excited!  I am hoping for a great school year for him.

Operation Computer: Mission Complete

Over the past year, or so, Melissa's lap top has not charged and constantly overheats...to the point where it was practically impossible to use.  So, about a month ago I posted the blog post "A Man on a Mission" about wanting to find Melissa a new computer, somehow.  Well, I am happy to report that the mission is complete!

Utilizing my full-blown Google-master skills, I found two organization, both related to each other, that supply recycled computers to Cancer patients....how flipping cool is that?!?

Recyled Computers for Cancer
http://recyclecomputers4cancer.org/default.php

Scientific and Medical Coalition Against Cancer
http://smcac.org/default.php

I had the pleasure of dealing with Eric Grund, Director of both organizations.  The process was very easy...just contact them (by mail, phone or email), have the cancer patient talk to them (mainly to find out what kind of computer you need), and about 2 weeks later your newly refurbished computer will arrive at your house!

Please share this information with any cancer patient, your church, your doctors.  When you are down and out, a computer keeps you connected to the ones you love and the world outside.

Besides, Cancer should have perks, dang it!

(Pictures coming!)

Another New Blog!

Most of you know, I also manage a Redskins blog...

http://rivercityredskins.blogspot.com/

...but I have also started a new blog about Petersburg Public Schools, that will host stories (both past and present / good and bad) and also present or recent events.  It will also work as a "watch dog" over the schools, with the end goal being raising awareness about the schools and improving conditions.

http://petersburgschools.blogspot.com/

Obviously, I love blogging.

Please Visit a Fellow Blogger's Blog!

I love "The Liz Army" blog.  The author is a young lady battling brain cancer.  The first time I found her blog, I connected.  Here is one of her most recent posts about Neuropsychology.  I think it is one area both doctors and insurance companies fall well short.  Melissa can tell you, some days are good day, some are bad, but every day, she feels effects that she can not even begin to truly explain.  Forgetfulness, mood swings, insomnia, and lack of concentration all adding to an already complicated and messed up situation...things an oncologist is, frankly, not trained to treat.  The kind of testing she explains should happen to ANYONE who has brain issues.

http://thelizarmy.com/2013/08/neuropsychological-testing/

Update - 8/15/2013

Melissa had a few good days and some bad days.  When she feels good, things are good.  When she feels bad...well, you get the picture.  I will be glad when little man goes back to school, because that will mean more structure and activity for him and less work for Melissa.  We could neither find nor afford child-care this summer and things have been shaky, at best.  I do the best I can to get little man out and do things, but I am forced to work and it literally.  I do not want to sound like I am attacking Melissa's ability to be a good mother...she is one...but her fuse, motivation, and energy levels are definitely a recipe for disaster when it comes to caring for a 6 yo....but with some compromise and a regular lunch visit from Daddy, things seem to have gone pretty well, given the circumstances we have faced this summer.  If she continues to feel the way she has the past 6 months, this will likely be the last summer, for a while at least, that little man will get to spend at home.  I will just have to be more proactive to get him into a summer program or camp next year.

I am constantly having to worry about so much...and it is no ones fault...it is just how it is.  There is never enough time for everything and it sucks, because, I want to have things under control and that is just not really possible with Cancer attacking a family member.  At first, the "One Day at a Time" approach seemed to work for me, but that doesn't apply to children, bills, or managing a household.  When the diagnosis is fresh and everyone is still in shock, help pours in...but after a few months I find myself alone again, trying to "swim upstream against a vicious current".  Frankly, I would not know where to start to even ask for help and really hate asking for it...and most of the things I just prefer to do myself, anyway...ya know, unless someone wants to go to work for me or pay some bills.  No takers?  Can't blame you.  I have never been a person you expected hand outs or, for that matter, bummed or asked friends for help.  It has always been the other way around, if anything.  I have invited friends without a place to go into my house, sometimes for years...helped everyone I know move at least once...even give change to the homeless...that good karma has to come back around.  In the mean time, I will just keep on keeping on.  

A Man on a Mission!

Though it is MY birthday around the corner, I want to do something to motivate Melissa....she needs a new lap top.  We have both been "limping through" for years with our lap top, which has been overheating and has a bad battery, making it far from mobile.  I think a new (or gently used) lap top could motivate her to get out of the house a little.  I am not sure my approach just yet...if I will try to start a fundraiser online or send out some emails and letters.  Let me know if you have any ideas or can help!

Update! 8/9/2013

Melissa has been doing pretty well lately and is even back on her chemo meds.  I would love to see more activity, but heck, I know everything is harder these days.  Little man is ready for school and excited, no matter where he attends.  We have been exploring moving options, but that is easier said then done, these days, both physically and financially.  The idea of moving (as I would be the one doing most of it) is scary too.  I will keep everyone posted.

Football season has returned.  It is my thing.  I like video games and movies...I love guitar and music...I am crazy flipping insane about Redskins Football.  This Saturday, weather permitting, I will be in the VIP area of training camp, recognized as a social media contributor and super-fan (a fairly accurate description), and I am pretty excited.  Football is the reason I probably didn't loose my mind last November when the entire "Brain Cancer" drama ensued.  It is nice to have my thing back...we all need a thing.

Not Much Greater 9 Months Later

Every cancer patients situation is unique.  Complications and challenges vary depending on so many different variables that even doctors do not know what to expect all of the time.  Most will not even began to delve into the "well, this could happen" realm, hitting only the high points, setting you up for shock when each challenge arrives.  Despite a lack of knowledge...stumbling into the abyss...you just try to keep up with life, a challenge in-of it's self.  The only thing I seem to find in common with most cancer patient and survivor stories is the cost of health care and fact that whatever your challenges are, they seem to come out of no where and suck.  Here we are, 9 months later, Melissa in remission, yet, our challenges seem harder then ever...financially, mentally, and physically.  I begin to wonder, do severe cancer patients ever really recover?  Sure, there are those ones, driven to survive and regain the active lifestyle they once had...but, what about normal people?  Do they ever "get better"?  There is no simple answer...yes, some "survive", but they will find themselves in what I have called the "new normal".  Our "new normal" includes, but is certainly not limited to, Melissa being unable to do much physically, almost numb emotionally, countless medications, and lots of debt, just to name a few.  For me, as the caregiver and sole income maker, I find myself also stuck, in many different ways.  As much as I like my job and need to work for money and health insurance, I probably need to spend more time at home, and long to do so every day.  I would love to move to a better location, but money is becoming harder to save every day and it is very hard to find a new place working all the time.  I find myself near spoiling my own child just to have some good times for a few minutes.  I have to admit, I have placed myself far down my priority list in my life...and it is having it's effects.  Melissa has no real priority list...and honestly, I can not blame her.  She has handled things far better than I would have imagined myself handling them...and, anyway, there is no hand-book for things that suck this bad.  It seems that, for me at least, I have had to trade my "happy-go-lucky" attitude for a "worry, too busy, not-so-lucky, WTF" attitude.  You can't really plan ahead and any plan you may have had, before cancer, is now impossible.  Seeing other peoples lives moving forward is hard to watch sometimes.

We are just not much greater 9 months later.

You can tell I am a bit frustrated.  It comes and goes...no ones fault...not much anyone can do.  It is when my blog is the most active, though...so readers beware.  haha...

I am so glad we got to go to San Diego...because for a few moments there, I think I may have even forgot about cancer for a few moments.  Those things are so important, even though it may seem to some excessive.  I am telling you first hand, a vacation every month would not be enough sometimes...there can never be too much fun or frivolous things when cancer invades your family.  Organization like 3LittleBirds4Life, who helped send us on vacation, are so important.  They help you create moments when you desperately need them.