Little man stayed home today...probably better that way, because I plan on turning his school inside out today. After some thought last night...and drafting the letter, I thought, "They probably hoped I would just take his suspension and be cool with that. Uh...No." I finally get a call from the teacher who witnessed this "violent" act to find out she did not even see it happened, though, my honest son fessed up. Seems like something he should surely be punished for, but not suspended. No one really got hurt...and hell, he is only 5 years old. The call left me charged up....with a nasty letter in hand. After emailing my letter to my contact on the School Board, and bouncing several emails, I set out to hand deliver it to the Principle, talking to the chairman of the School Board on the way. My emails reached the right places, because she was well aware I was coming and was ready. She opened my letter immediately and went to reading....three pages...yep, I tend to elaborate when pissed. Though I did not expect to call her out face to face, I did just that, as she questioned the concerns I addressed in the letter. In a calm, zen-master-like fashion, I let her have it. I starred her in the eye and let her know I was not going to be messed with, that I expect them to do their job, that I thought she was cold-hearted and non-compassionate, and that the entire school needed to learn how to communicate....after which, she repealed the suspension and apologized. "We hope this will not happen again" she said...yeah lady, me too. Damn.
I worked extensively with little man, in hopes of teaching him so that this never happens again. I have a feeling, his biting days are through.
I did feel quite a level of accomplishment....I think men must be challenged like that every once and a while. Good for the blood pressure...well, maybe not THAT, but I have always wanted a reason worth going into those schools and making them do their job, now I am raising that reason.
Friday, April 26, 2013
4/23/2013
Today started like any other Tuesday. Off to school and work, accordingly. After work, though, I would be thrown for a loop. So, when I picked up little man from school, he said. "Dad, there is a letter in there for you." Knowing something transpired Friday, I rushed to see what it was. The letter was suspending him for 2 days for some kind of physical altercation. I say, out loud, in anger, "...and NO ONE CALLED ME?" Nope, no one called, or, for that matter, even made a big deal about it. I was vaguely told of something that happened Friday, not nothing this serious. Besides, he is in Kindergarten. Know, my son's behavior is not always good, but both I and his teachers would tell you that it is better than average. Violence is not something he has a reputation for. When asked about what happened, he told me that the other kid kept hitting him and picking on him and that, eventually, he bit him. Biting is never acceptable, but defending yourself...wow...at 5....well...what do you say? I told him I did not want him to hurt anyone, but to not let anyone hurt him either and to tell the teacher if anyone messes with him. Needless to say, though, I am livid and desperate to find out the facts and why I was not called. So, I decided to attend "Family Fun Night" alone, letter in hand, looking for the person to be-little, nicely, of course. After waiting an hour, I got to meet the lady who was in charge of his suspension. I was given every excuse imaginable for why it was so grossly mishandled and told that for that offense, the book says suspension....and that the school had no funding or resources for any alternative forms of punishment. I expressed my disgust with how untimely it was handled and pressed for the facts...she had none. So, she "handled" things with no facts at all. Nice...so I left that conversation with enough ammo to sink her ship, so to speak. For 5 hours, until almost 1 am, I drafted a letter "word-smithed" to perfection. Tune in to tomorrows post to see how that went.
4/22/2013
Another Monday...back to work and school. Looks like Melissa's post treatment scan is set, though the date eludes me. haha....we will not get results until her appointment next month.
I halfway expected the school to call. When I picked up Michael on Friday, the YMCA staff asked if the school called, then mentioned that they definitely would. No call ever came. So I sent Melissa to school with him. His teacher, acting surprised he was there, went the office to check to be sure Michael could go on a field trip. The teacher mentioned an incident Friday where Michael supposedly bit another kid. The other child was one Michael had mentioned the kid kept picking with him and hit him. I assumed, since he was allowed on the trip, it was just "boys being boys" and was no big deal...though, we had some talk about lashing out physically. He is such a gentle, most times, kind child...the entire event was way out of character for him. He has a lot to learn, but never had an issue like this before. I do know that he will not back down if he knows he is right or is picked on...something I dreadfully wished I had when I was growing up.
I halfway expected the school to call. When I picked up Michael on Friday, the YMCA staff asked if the school called, then mentioned that they definitely would. No call ever came. So I sent Melissa to school with him. His teacher, acting surprised he was there, went the office to check to be sure Michael could go on a field trip. The teacher mentioned an incident Friday where Michael supposedly bit another kid. The other child was one Michael had mentioned the kid kept picking with him and hit him. I assumed, since he was allowed on the trip, it was just "boys being boys" and was no big deal...though, we had some talk about lashing out physically. He is such a gentle, most times, kind child...the entire event was way out of character for him. He has a lot to learn, but never had an issue like this before. I do know that he will not back down if he knows he is right or is picked on...something I dreadfully wished I had when I was growing up.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
4/20/2013 & 4/21/2013
Because I am posting this days late, I can say that for me, this weekend was the calm before the storm.
We enjoyed a nice, quiet weekend. Saturday night, a few really great friends got me out of the house. It was the first time since Melissa was found to be sick that I got out of the house. I can tell you, though you may not have been able to look and tell I was having fun, I was...and it was great. I need more of that. I love to go places with Melissa, but I think a regular break for the cancer world has to become part of my routine.
Sunday, I worked on repairing and acquiring/borrowing lawn equipment to get that yard straight. We visited with some friends and enjoyed the fresh cut lawn Sunday. I bet little man had not played outside that much since last summer.
It looks like Melissa may get her "wish"....details coming soon...but here is a hint....cross-country...
Somebody asked me recently, "How have you guys managed to get by?" I answered "Well...not sure...we just did." In fact, we got by only because of great family, friends, and support...literally, without the help we have received, we would be homeless, car-less, and hopeless. Even with all that help and great medical insurance, we are still at least $10K in medical debt. We can barely afford our household expenses, much less medications or unseen expenses...but, somehow, we do. That is one thing I can share with other cancer patients...you will get by. You will not know how....you will not know or be able to thank everyone who helps....you may not know how you will afford tomorrow...but you have to believe you will. Some may say, "Have Faith"....faith in God...faith in humanity...whatever it is that gives you hope. I am not crazy about using the word "Faith"...it feels like to have "faith" in something means to believe in something that may be a "strech" to believe...I think it has to go that step further....really, you have to "Believe". I believe we will get by in the future. Our fundraiser should keep hospital bills from seizing our assets (what little we have)...and by the time the come knocking again, I will hopefully be ending another fundraiser...but the process may take a decade still. That is the real shame of Cancer....besides the chance of loosing a loved one, it financial cripples hard working Americans, whether you make 60K a year or 600K a year...most of us are one medical catastrophe away from financial devastation. Even if you survive cancer, you will carry the debt that comes with it just long as you did the cancer, and in most cases even longer. I am not saying that every person should be free and clear of the financial costs of surviving cancer, but at least they should not be left in an impossible financial situation. Imagine if you were single and this happened to you? Where would you get any income? There are many people in well worse situations than us. You just learn to be thankful for what you do have.
That entire "shpeal" makes me think of how life was before cancer. You middle class American's out there know what I mean...dreading going to work....pissed that you and your wife's income is barley enough to get by...complaining about politics...bitching about having to work 40 hours a week...for those American's, I say, you better be thankful that you are healthy enough to work, that your family is healthy, and that all you are is broke. I would give anything to have those days back.
We enjoyed a nice, quiet weekend. Saturday night, a few really great friends got me out of the house. It was the first time since Melissa was found to be sick that I got out of the house. I can tell you, though you may not have been able to look and tell I was having fun, I was...and it was great. I need more of that. I love to go places with Melissa, but I think a regular break for the cancer world has to become part of my routine.
Sunday, I worked on repairing and acquiring/borrowing lawn equipment to get that yard straight. We visited with some friends and enjoyed the fresh cut lawn Sunday. I bet little man had not played outside that much since last summer.
It looks like Melissa may get her "wish"....details coming soon...but here is a hint....cross-country...
Somebody asked me recently, "How have you guys managed to get by?" I answered "Well...not sure...we just did." In fact, we got by only because of great family, friends, and support...literally, without the help we have received, we would be homeless, car-less, and hopeless. Even with all that help and great medical insurance, we are still at least $10K in medical debt. We can barely afford our household expenses, much less medications or unseen expenses...but, somehow, we do. That is one thing I can share with other cancer patients...you will get by. You will not know how....you will not know or be able to thank everyone who helps....you may not know how you will afford tomorrow...but you have to believe you will. Some may say, "Have Faith"....faith in God...faith in humanity...whatever it is that gives you hope. I am not crazy about using the word "Faith"...it feels like to have "faith" in something means to believe in something that may be a "strech" to believe...I think it has to go that step further....really, you have to "Believe". I believe we will get by in the future. Our fundraiser should keep hospital bills from seizing our assets (what little we have)...and by the time the come knocking again, I will hopefully be ending another fundraiser...but the process may take a decade still. That is the real shame of Cancer....besides the chance of loosing a loved one, it financial cripples hard working Americans, whether you make 60K a year or 600K a year...most of us are one medical catastrophe away from financial devastation. Even if you survive cancer, you will carry the debt that comes with it just long as you did the cancer, and in most cases even longer. I am not saying that every person should be free and clear of the financial costs of surviving cancer, but at least they should not be left in an impossible financial situation. Imagine if you were single and this happened to you? Where would you get any income? There are many people in well worse situations than us. You just learn to be thankful for what you do have.
That entire "shpeal" makes me think of how life was before cancer. You middle class American's out there know what I mean...dreading going to work....pissed that you and your wife's income is barley enough to get by...complaining about politics...bitching about having to work 40 hours a week...for those American's, I say, you better be thankful that you are healthy enough to work, that your family is healthy, and that all you are is broke. I would give anything to have those days back.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Update on the On-Line Fundraiser via GiveForward!
Due to mounting medical bills, I was forced to move the closing date of the fundraiser up to May 3rd, 2013. Please help me push for one last rally! Email your friends, church, family the link below....ask them to help.
I would like to thank all that have helped us with this fundraiser, those who sent gifts and assistance directly to us, and everyone for the well wishes.
Please keep us in your thoughts...we have a long, long battle ahead.
Monday, April 22, 2013
4/16/2013 Through 4/19/2013
For the first time, since starting the blog, I went almost a week without posting an update. Sorry, Readers...I was having a rough week. You did not miss out on much, besides a grumpy blogger. It was a busy at work and the weight of all the things I have to do was wearing on me pretty hard. There is just never enough time in the day. There was also very little to report. We are almost 2 weeks through a 4 week treatment break, which, towards the end of, we may finally get some answers on whether treatment was effective. On top of all that, the dark cloud of medical debt is looming over...it will not be long before they began the assault to collect that will undoubtedly destroy our credit and ruin our finances. Despite having great insurance, even reaching our maximum out-of-pocket expenses, we have around 10K or so in medical debt...with over 200K paid by our health insurance. Though 10K may not sound like a lot, she also can not work, yet I make just a little too much for any type of assistance. I can write and apply for grants for non-profits, but each requires an extensively long form chock-full of personal financial information. It is something I MUST find time for, though, seldom do the grants exceed $500, so we are talking about quite a few applications.
Melissa is eager to get back to work. I was at all not surprised she has a bit of cabin fever...but, what did surprise me is that the cabin fever has not led her to get up and be more active around the house, at least. I do not mean it in a bad way...hell, she has cancer...but still, I would like her see her test her limits at home before trying to work for someone else. She still needs clearance from doctors first. I think she is getting there, though. She got up last Thursday, stayed up the entire day, and tuckered her self out...then slept through the night for the first time in months. I am hoping the warm weather and summer will provide all the motivation one needs to regain some activity.
I have read a lot recently about spouse care-givers and the mental struggles that come with it. The spouse can sometimes set expectations...."If that was me, I would..." Well, it is not me....and who knows how I would react. I try to just make sure she does most of what she is supposed to, treat her as normal as possible, and motivate her gradually. I am pretty sure, though, if it were me with brain cancer, I would NOT have handled this is well as Melissa has. She has been pretty strong through this, which in turn has allowed me to stay even stronger...if the tables were turned, I am afraid I would have turned out to be more of a burden then she has been.
Melissa is eager to get back to work. I was at all not surprised she has a bit of cabin fever...but, what did surprise me is that the cabin fever has not led her to get up and be more active around the house, at least. I do not mean it in a bad way...hell, she has cancer...but still, I would like her see her test her limits at home before trying to work for someone else. She still needs clearance from doctors first. I think she is getting there, though. She got up last Thursday, stayed up the entire day, and tuckered her self out...then slept through the night for the first time in months. I am hoping the warm weather and summer will provide all the motivation one needs to regain some activity.
I have read a lot recently about spouse care-givers and the mental struggles that come with it. The spouse can sometimes set expectations...."If that was me, I would..." Well, it is not me....and who knows how I would react. I try to just make sure she does most of what she is supposed to, treat her as normal as possible, and motivate her gradually. I am pretty sure, though, if it were me with brain cancer, I would NOT have handled this is well as Melissa has. She has been pretty strong through this, which in turn has allowed me to stay even stronger...if the tables were turned, I am afraid I would have turned out to be more of a burden then she has been.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
4/15/2013
I was kind of sad to have to check out of the Jefferson after one night. I did get to meet the manager and shake his hand for the 1st call accommodations. What a nice guy.
Melissa had a doctors appointment today....it put in motion something that we have all been waiting for...did the radiation work? He scheduled an MRI for the coming weeks...and in about a month, we should have some idea of how effective treatment was and the overall outlook of this thing. I know Melissa is tired....and I would be lying if I said I was not tired as well.
Melissa had a doctors appointment today....it put in motion something that we have all been waiting for...did the radiation work? He scheduled an MRI for the coming weeks...and in about a month, we should have some idea of how effective treatment was and the overall outlook of this thing. I know Melissa is tired....and I would be lying if I said I was not tired as well.
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