Because I am posting this days late, I can say that for me, this weekend was the calm before the storm.
We enjoyed a nice, quiet weekend. Saturday night, a few really great friends got me out of the house. It was the first time since Melissa was found to be sick that I got out of the house. I can tell you, though you may not have been able to look and tell I was having fun, I was...and it was great. I need more of that. I love to go places with Melissa, but I think a regular break for the cancer world has to become part of my routine.
Sunday, I worked on repairing and acquiring/borrowing lawn equipment to get that yard straight. We visited with some friends and enjoyed the fresh cut lawn Sunday. I bet little man had not played outside that much since last summer.
It looks like Melissa may get her "wish"....details coming soon...but here is a hint....cross-country...
Somebody asked me recently, "How have you guys managed to get by?" I answered "Well...not sure...we just did." In fact, we got by only because of great family, friends, and support...literally, without the help we have received, we would be homeless, car-less, and hopeless. Even with all that help and great medical insurance, we are still at least $10K in medical debt. We can barely afford our household expenses, much less medications or unseen expenses...but, somehow, we do. That is one thing I can share with other cancer patients...you will get by. You will not know how....you will not know or be able to thank everyone who helps....you may not know how you will afford tomorrow...but you have to believe you will. Some may say, "Have Faith"....faith in God...faith in humanity...whatever it is that gives you hope. I am not crazy about using the word "Faith"...it feels like to have "faith" in something means to believe in something that may be a "strech" to believe...I think it has to go that step further....really, you have to "Believe". I believe we will get by in the future. Our fundraiser should keep hospital bills from seizing our assets (what little we have)...and by the time the come knocking again, I will hopefully be ending another fundraiser...but the process may take a decade still. That is the real shame of Cancer....besides the chance of loosing a loved one, it financial cripples hard working Americans, whether you make 60K a year or 600K a year...most of us are one medical catastrophe away from financial devastation. Even if you survive cancer, you will carry the debt that comes with it just long as you did the cancer, and in most cases even longer. I am not saying that every person should be free and clear of the financial costs of surviving cancer, but at least they should not be left in an impossible financial situation. Imagine if you were single and this happened to you? Where would you get any income? There are many people in well worse situations than us. You just learn to be thankful for what you do have.
That entire "shpeal" makes me think of how life was before cancer. You middle class American's out there know what I mean...dreading going to work....pissed that you and your wife's income is barley enough to get by...complaining about politics...bitching about having to work 40 hours a week...for those American's, I say, you better be thankful that you are healthy enough to work, that your family is healthy, and that all you are is broke. I would give anything to have those days back.