It there was ever a weekend that was referred to as a "lazy weekend", this was it. I managed to sluggishly do some dishes and cleaning up...but the majority of the weekend was spent sitting around, watching movies and TV, napping, and little to nothing....which was all Melissa was interested in this weekend (besides food). Tweaked out on steroids, Melissa has not been able to sleep well, despite the pain medication, sleeping aides, and any other holistic trick we could find (within legal means). She was explaining to me how she feels....unsettled, anxious, and constantly hungry but seldom satisfied. She is beyond wanting all this cancer crap to be over.
A little over a week from now, Melissa will be finished with radiation treatments. I know she is eager to get back to some normalcy...right now, she has little energy to do much but can not sleep either.
It is hard to keep cancer from running your life....by that, I mean, it is hard for it not to be the focus of every action...it is hard for it not to be the thing everything else works around. For her, I know she wants nothing more than her average health, crappy job, and mediocre way of life back...something either of us would have been happy to bitch about a year ago. All I know is that, after all of this, she deserves a break...preferably one with sun, sand, and tropical breezes... margaritas by the sea anyone?