Friday, March 1, 2013


Melissa is still struggling with an upset belly...but so far so good.  They put her back on steroids today...along with another sleeping aid and belly meds.  She has had some pressure behind her right eye the past couple days....headaches a bit too, though they may be from her hell-ish/torture sleep schedule.

I am a bit livid about Social Security.  We filed online months back.  Now, of course, they have no application on file.  Oh joy.  Of course, I should have been there myself today because they treated Melissa like no one special even when her condition is CLEARLY a "FastTrack" condition, and by FEDERAL LAW should be expedited along with additional compensation called a "compassion allowance", and retro-back to her diagnosis date....none of which they bothered to mention to Melissa...they just set her a date 3 weeks from now.  Delay, delay delay....that is what keeps America's Social Security from going belly up.  Every day people are rejected and put off for benefits they have earned, paid into, and have a legal right too...which, of course, leads to hoards of attorneys who specialize in getting those benefits you are owed....for a nice cut, of course.  If we have to go that route, so be it.  My flipping Congressman will know my name, if so.

As you can tell, what used to be, what I thought, was an "endless well of patience" is now running quite dry.  My daily schedule is over-run with tasks (both at work and home), worry, bills, house-cleaning, and responsibilities, that frankly, I get little or no help with...I never have enough time....I can never work hard enough....I can never accomplish it all...and despite how hard I try, I find myself constantly upset with Melissa, Co-Workers, and life.  Melissa can not help that the tumor effects the part of her brain that controls motivation, organization, and task-tackling...but I still need her help sometimes.  Sometimes, I feel like I can count on no one, including myself.  I understand...everyone else works...everyone else has their own family and responsibilities.  Many have said, "all you have to do is ask." but, that takes some level of organization...some level of planning for people to be able to adjust their schedules...and things are just too damn mixed up and disorganized for much of that.  This weekend, I need to find some flipping way to recharge the batteries.  Little man goes to his grandparents....I plan on cranking up the tunes and cleaning house...but at some point, I need a break from all this bullshit (sorry for the language, but it is what it is).

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