Trying To Remember How To Have Fun

New Year's resolutions, to me, seem silly.  Most of us choose dieting, quitting smoking, working out...something productive and positive, only to fold a month later, falling into our old habits.  This year, I was surprised Melissa wanted to go out for New Year's Eve.  I am not sure I can even stay up until Midnight.  That made me think...did Cancer cause us to forget how to have fun?  There is some aspects of adulthood that certainly have that effect, but the drive to seek out and have fun is definitely lacking for me and Melissa.  After the last year of challenges, you could see where fun may have slipped down the priority list some.

So, for my New Years resolution I am going to try to relearn how to have fun.  Focus on enjoying the little things more...a laugh...a good movie...a great song...her smile...playing with my son.  Chances are if I am having more fun, everyone around me is too...that's what I want for the New Year.

Happy New Year Everyone!

2014 here we come!

The Christmas Bounty

Christmas Magic

As you can tell by my last post, the stress of the season was upon me...and I was breaking...about the time we got a very nice gift from a family that helps a different struggling family every year.  We never asked for help, but did we ever need it.  I suppose it was another sighting of that special Christmas magic.  Needless to say, for once, I could just sit back and try to make the best of every moment instead of worrying.

I am also working on something to help Melissa with her motivation and energy issues...so I will keep you all posted.

Ready for Christmas!

Somehow...perhaps, through fate alone, I am pretty much ready for Christmas.  Like last year, I did almost all the shopping.  Melissa was feeling ill, so she did not go out shopping.  Nope...I did it all again.  Melissa has not felt well in months.  Dr's will not call me back and, frankly, I am pissed about it.  All her Dr's seem willing to attempt anything to cure her cancer, but then leave her helpless with the many things left ailing her, like circulation issues, lack of motivation/energy, and this stomach issue.

So, if anyone was wondering, yeah, I still want my damn wife back for Christmas.

A Year Ago Today...

A year ago today, my wife was having major brain surgery to remove a tumor the size of a tennis ball from the front right lobe of her brain.  Still not sure what to say...but I can say things are better today then I thought they would be a year ago...and for that, I am thankful.

Boo...the Flu!

While the cancer front is quiet, the overall health of our house is under attack...from the Flu.  Yep, just our luck, we were among the first in our area to catch the Flu this year.  Everyone under our roof is highly ill...so prayers, thoughts people.  We are at war here.  I think this is the worst bug I have ever encountered.  Entering day 6, I am still far from myself.  The body aches, cough, fever, nausea, and severe exhaustion associated with this Flu are no joke...get your flu shots, like, yesterday.  Melissa seems to be getting a little better.  Little man was sick for all of about 6 hours or so.  Kids...

Being sick always makes me think about this...

Why do people go to work contagious and sick?

Is it that we are that dedicated to our work?

Are we just money hungry?

Do employers just expect people to work, regardless of health concerns?

This is an often debated topic.  What I can say is this...

You may never know the challenges or obstacles of all those around you...that you interact with every day...but sharing your germs could harm, hurt, or kill someone...including yourself, if you push yourself to work when really to sick too.

If you get sick, and I mean, contagious, fevers...the real deal, take a damn day or so to rest up and not share your germs.

Our flu was brought home via our son, via his teacher and several classmates...so I am kind of charged up about it.

I, too, have an "Old School" boss who expect you to work regardless...I still take my days when I really, really need to.  It is ever humans right.

Christmas and Cancer

Last Christmas I couldn't tell you up from down.  The onslaught of Cancer came in like a tsunami.  I was so overwhelmed.

Read for yourself:  http://barrsbattlebraincancer.blogspot.com/2013/01/12252012.html

The last year has been the hardest struggle of my life...Melissa's too, I am sure.  Unfortunately, it is not the kind of struggle that you get through quickly.  It has been hard to balance losing income and gaining massive medical bills. 

As you can imagine, I want this Christmas to be pretty special.  I am sure, regardless of the amount of presents under the tree, this year will be a major improvement over last year, but at the same time, financially, this year will be a world class juggling act.

I had a crazy idea, though...may not happen this year, but before he gets much bigger, I want to take Michael to Disney and Universal Studios in FL.  I have some family there too.  

Proofreading...on a BLOG? Hahaha!

No...I am no the best proofreader.

Yes...I do actually proofread my posts.

No...I usually never find all of the mistakes.

My wife kindly reminded me, recently, of my many, many grammatical errors.  I was sure they happened, but most my feedback had nothing to do with the technical nature of blogging.  Unlike most, I do not mind input that helps me improve me writing...especially that of my loving wife...after all, she is the reason I started blogging.

I do love blogging.  It not only suites a great purpose of informing friends and family throughout our crisis and life, but it give me a record of things, a much needed place to vent creatively, and may even be something I would love to do for a living some day.

Another Clean MRI!!!

Melissa got the results of another clean MRI today!

Every MRI kind of sneaks up on you.  You almost forget about it...then they call and schedule the scan.  We try not to think about it...but you almost hold your breath after every scan until you get the results.

Priceless

This is what real mean live for.  

Update - 11/13/2013

Wow, time flies fast this time of year!  It has been a while since I posted, but my last post did promise Halloween pictures.  Funny story...

So, Halloween was on a Thursday this year.  Weekday afternoons, at my house, are crazy on a normal night.  I was stuck at work until after 5, then rushed how to throw together dinner.  We had Trick-or-Treaters before dinner was even done cooking.  Needless to say, we were running behind.  After dinner, it took every adult in the house almost an hour to find his costume, which someone place on top of the entertainment center (yep, was not me).  Running late, we rushed to get his costume and makeup done and headed off to find candy.  I have never seen little man so willing to walk...and we walked...then walked some more...a good hour and a half of Trick-or-Treating.  When he finally gave in to going home, we were both exhausted.  Before even getting into his candy, he was peeling the costume and make-up.  About an hour later, I realized that I did not take even one picture of him in costume.  So, long story short, I have no Halloween pictures to share.

Chaos leads to oopsies.

Do not despair, though...I am sure Michael will gladly dress up as a Zombie sometime soon for photo shoot.

I am working on a website idea to help Cancer patients.  It is a bit bigger then my own web-site building skills, but I think it is a golden idea.  Look for more information in the coming months.

Happy Halloween!!!

Halloween is the first holiday of the Fall season.  It is especially magical for those with young children.  There is little children love more than dressing up or pretending.  My son loves to act, dress up, jump into character, and scare people (not necessarily all together or at the same time, but you get my drift)....needless to say, he LOVES Halloween!

This year, he veered away from "Superheros" into the realm of the undead.  This year, he chose to be a Zombie.  Though he does not watch Zombies movies or shows, sometimes he does get chased around by "Daddy Zombie".

(Pictures to be added later!)

Kids are not the only ones who love to dress up.  Secretly, most adults love the opportunity as well.  I made me think, wouldn't Chemo and Radiation be more fun if you dressed in costume?  Of course, you always see a multitude of funny or silly hats and t-shirts, but seldom a full costume.  Nurses usually have their own fun way of keeping things light-hearted.  I just keep getting this picture in my mind of the cast of The Wizard of Oz, played by radiation patients of all sexes, ages, and creeds....it will likely haunt you as well.

Brain Cancer Ups and Downs

The "ups" and "downs" of a patient, or family of the patient, fighting brain cancer are bewildering.  There are times when, for no apparent reason, things may go great around the house...and there are times, for no apparent reason, they can be fairly awful...sometimes, despite the efforts of those involved.  I wish I could get a list of "Things That Make The Day Go Right"...but that list changes, depending on the attitudes and obstacles we might encounter.  Some days you give 100% and things still go wrong.  Some days you literally "throw in the towel" and things go well.  I know that I am not the husband or person I used to be...and I do not even have cancer...and even though my wife is a brain cancer survivor, even I can not tell you the many ways brain cancer, or any cancer, changes the survivor.  Some become more driven then ever, some, eh, not so much...but for one thing you may have to deal with, it causes more change, trouble, worry, joy, emotions, and hosts of other challenges...becoming impossible to comprehend how to handle things or react.  Never underestimate the amount of stress any cancer patient is going through, but if it is Brain Cancer, expect a little more.

Merry Ol' Meningitis

Days after brain surgery, recovery, and release from the hospital, my wife experienced a really bad head-ache that landed us in the ER and spawned her second hospital stay, about $20,000 in additional medical bills, and, worst of all, her to miss Christmas.  It was not until months later that we found out it was due to bacterial meningitis.  We knew it was an infection being treated by some of the strongest antibiotics available, but the word "meningitis" wasn't used until months later.  I had suspected it, but didn't dig much deeper.  At that point, we were both in the daze that comes with a crazy cancer diagnosis and rush to treatment (not to mention the holidays).  At one point, her neurosurgeon even suggested that post-operative infections sometimes are connected to spontaneous remission.  What was not mentioned was all the possible long-term side effects, which include memory loss, light-headiness, learning disabilities, hearing problems, head aches, coordination issues, general and limb weakness, vision impairment, organ damage, skin damage, arthritis, and a host of others.  Combine those with the side effects from the radiation and chemotherapy, well, you have a lottery of just about every ill you could experience...many of which haunt my wife on a daily basis.  What I find most disturbing, though, is how doctors don't look out for most of these...almost, in a fashion that would suggests they would prefer you just "tough it out".  Though these issues are mostly temporary, they are certainly among the most challenging issues a cancer patient would face daily and can cause a patient to not recover as well as possible, not to mention how it can feed the worry of the loved ones around the patient.

I have to think, after facing all these challenges you come out stronger, but those days are impossible to imagine right now.

Brain Cancer: Coping With Personality & Behavior Changes

Every brain cancer patient and treatment is different.  The damage to the patients brain, treatments, medication side effects, and the related stress or depression always has some effect on the patients personality.  In Melissa's case, that is very evident.  She has really struggled with motivation.  She constantly seems to fight fatigue.  She has also experienced confusion or forgetfulness, lack of emotion, and seems very easily agitated.  The care-giver in me extends seeming never-ending patients, while the husband and father in me just wants my damn wife back.  I have to say, as of late, for me (at least) the changes in her personality and behavior have been the hardest for me to deal with.  Melissa, like most patients, is nearly oblivious to these changes.

Here is a great link to information..."Coping With Personality & Behavior Changes"
http://www.brainsciencefoundation.org/bUnderstandbPrimaryBrainTumors/AdditionalResources/CopingWithPersonalityBehavioralChanges/tabid/283/Default.aspx

Here Comes Christmas!

Here we are, over a week into October...cool weather upon us...pumpkins, costumes, decorations for Halloween.  Blink and it will be Thanksgiving.  Blink again and it will be Christmas.  Normally, I am crazy excited about this time of year.  Sure, I am looking forward to a great family meal on Thanksgiving...and Christmas is always magical...but I just don't know.  I guess I worry about things too much.  It seems like it has been so long since I had a normal Christmas...though, it has only been a little over 2 years.  One thing is for sure, having Melissa home for Christmas this year, instead of fresh out of BRAIN SURGERY, will be very nice.  No doubt, though, affording a decent Christmas will be tough this year.

10/2/2013 - Update

Sorry for the lack of updates lately.  My days are so jam packed with "to-do's" that time just flies by.  Melissa is not feeling well at all.  The cold that kept our son down all of about 12 minutes has grown into at least bronchitis and may be pneumonia now.  She is headed back to the doctor today, so cross your fingers...and toes...and legs...cross all that stuff!  We can NOT afford another hospital stay.

I have been sick too, but not quite as bad...though, I have to say, it has been a long time since I have been sick for a few weeks straight.  I am starting to feel a little better.  If I continue to feel better, I may just take my son camping for the night at Pocahontas State Park this weekend...nice, cheap way to spend the weekend entertaining the midget.  

We are approaching the competition of our first year of battling brain cancer.  It is a milestone no one should take lightly...but to us, it is really just a blur.  Fact is, without having to work, the calender on my phone, or the change of seasons, I couldn't tell you what month it is...or what day it is.  I feel much like I did 9 months ago, completely overwhelmed with medical bills, household bills, household chores, work, and all the daily tasks...but the only difference now is that no one really helps us anymore.  The desire to "enjoy your time" is constantly overshadowed by our lack of stability supporting our household.

Despite being broke, I have really tried to work hard to make sure little man has some fun every weekend.  He has worked pretty hard at school this year and also has undoubtedly faced some challenges with his mothers cancer.  I suppose I try to offset that (without spoiling, per say)...while also not spending recklessly.

I am just a bit overwhelmed.  Bills, work, home, and being sick....it takes it's toll.  I get no real breaks...even more so, I kind of feel bad if and when I do get a break.  

There is only one glorious curse word that, if presented properly, seems to embody exactly how I feel....fuck (pronounced: Fuuuuuuck).

Married People Have Better Odds Against Cancer

I heard this announced on the news...was not mind blowing at all to me.  I couldn't imagine someone fighting cancer alone.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2013/09/24/the-marriage-health-connection-extends-to-cancer-survival/

Update 9/20/2013

Thank God it is Friday.

I have been sick all week.  Nothing serious, just a simple, small cold.  Though it was not even a bad cold, it kind of put a few things back in perspective.

Over the past few months, I would not say I have been hard at all on Melissa, but I have been firm.  I felt the need to motivate her back into a few regular human and household routines, with a little bit of success.  This last week, though barely sick really, I was not feeling up to some things...she jumped in and helped on the worst days...but it made me think, there are days she feels like that all the time.  Something that was almost uncomprehending is not kind-of understandable.

It is such a delicate balance...motivating vs understanding...both important roles for a spouse or caretaker (a term that I do not like to use just yet with Melissa...she is perfectly capable).

It looks like this upcoming Chemo cycle is going to be the last.  As many of you know, she has been taking the oral Chemo Temodar...for some, a drug with little side effects...for most, a hell drug (in line with almost every other Cancer treatment in existence).  It does not mean the testing, MRI's, doctors appointments, countless medications, or most of the crummy stuff is over...but it will be nice to see how much better she feels with one less poison regiment.  

Update 9/18/2013

I attended Michael's school's Open House last night...came out of that meeting with the Chairman position on the Parent Advisory Committee.  I am excited to hold an important position in the communication of fellow parents and will be especially helpful in my other blog, which true intentions are to communicate with parents, alumni, and our community.  I believe it was a better fit than the PTA.  I am pretty sure this is not the last you will be hearing about this decision...but, even in Petersburg, you have to try for better...at least, until we can afford to move...but regardless of I am, I have to do my part.

Update - 9/15/2013

For the past two months especially, we have barely been getting by, often finding ourselves down to our last couple bucks far before pay-day comes around again.  Despite cutting back on groceries, fun money, and even turning up the thermostat, we are just having a tough time making ends meet.  Not sure how anyone in our country can survive on Disability or Social Security.  In most cases, friends and loved ones of someone fighting a grave cancer diagnosis may have no idea that, regardless of beating cancer or not, a cancer patients life is practically over, financially.  I refuse to believe that is it...there has to be better days ahead, just not sure exactly what I or anyone in my situation can do to push that process along...to get to theses fabled "better days".  One organization talks about "Getting back to living" after cancer...yeah, unless you had a trust fund, healthy savings account, bunch of silver spoons, or vault full of gold, you may live beyond cancer but it will be far from "high on the hog".  I would bet a fair number of cancer patients, especially single ones, end up homeless, living and dependent on relatives, or just collapse under the intense pressure to be able to at least flipping take care of your own basic needs.  Still, though, our quality life is still far better then a perfectly healthy family in some other countries...it is still hard to watch everyone else's lives moving on, growing, and succeeding while you know that yours is in danger and in hock to cancer.  It is just messed up.  It is just, with all the other worries that come with cancer, the last thing you should have to worry about is how you will manage to keep food on your table or a roof over your head.

Back to School!

Michael is back in school.  We were not able to move, just yet, so he is back in Petersburg Schools again (sigh).  Got a blog about that, too - http://petersburgschools.blogspot.com/ - I run three blogs now.

Little man had his yearly physical before school.  They drew blood and he got a shot, neither of which he was happy about.  To hear him tell the story of his "man-parts check-up" would leave you in stitches.  The story caught me by surprise because Melissa had not mentioned the details of that part of the doctors appointment because there was so much to say about how he fought the shot (it took three nurses, a doctor and Melissa to restrain him).  He is as healthy as an ox.

Mornings have been a struggle.  Even for most families, school mornings can be crazy...but add cancer and watch out.  We can not afford before and after school care this year, so it is on Melissa to help get him to school and from school.  I get him all but ready before I leave in the morning and handle homework every night.  We have no real system, besides what I mentioned...though, it gets refined a little every day.

I am loving the onset of cooler weather.  Reminds me of San Diego...perhaps the best weather in the USA.  I miss that place so much.  Little liberal for my taste, but besides that, it is heaven....beaches, mountains, breezes, great roads, Balboa Park, Old Town, incredible food, concerts, history...(sigh again) maybe one day.

Please continue to monitor, contribute, and assist the organization that granted Melissa's wish.  They have grown tremendously the past year and are really helping inspire young cancer patients around the country.  http://3littlebirds4life.org/  I am planning on eventually becoming a Wish Designer for them, like Kristi (who helped grant Melissa's wish)...and when I do, I will be posting about it to rally support and help!

Pictures from the Dinwiddie Fair

Update - 8/23/2013

Melissa is doing a bit better right now.  Little man is on his summer stint with Grandma and Papa.  The break from the day-to-day with little man has really helped motivate her some.  It is funny how much one 6yo can take out of you.  She could really use someone to be pushing her to get up, walk, get outside, sustain some physical activity...it kills me to go to work when my real job should be at home, helping her recover, because little to no one else is helping....some people just need a motivator and hers goes to work 40+ hrs a week.  Besides, a husband can only push but so hard before he is in the dog-house, someplace I specializing in NOT being in (if at all possible).

School will be back next week...little man and mommy are excited!  I am hoping for a great school year for him.

Operation Computer: Mission Complete

Over the past year, or so, Melissa's lap top has not charged and constantly overheats...to the point where it was practically impossible to use.  So, about a month ago I posted the blog post "A Man on a Mission" about wanting to find Melissa a new computer, somehow.  Well, I am happy to report that the mission is complete!

Utilizing my full-blown Google-master skills, I found two organization, both related to each other, that supply recycled computers to Cancer patients....how flipping cool is that?!?

Recyled Computers for Cancer
http://recyclecomputers4cancer.org/default.php

Scientific and Medical Coalition Against Cancer
http://smcac.org/default.php

I had the pleasure of dealing with Eric Grund, Director of both organizations.  The process was very easy...just contact them (by mail, phone or email), have the cancer patient talk to them (mainly to find out what kind of computer you need), and about 2 weeks later your newly refurbished computer will arrive at your house!

Please share this information with any cancer patient, your church, your doctors.  When you are down and out, a computer keeps you connected to the ones you love and the world outside.

Besides, Cancer should have perks, dang it!

(Pictures coming!)

Another New Blog!

Most of you know, I also manage a Redskins blog...

http://rivercityredskins.blogspot.com/

...but I have also started a new blog about Petersburg Public Schools, that will host stories (both past and present / good and bad) and also present or recent events.  It will also work as a "watch dog" over the schools, with the end goal being raising awareness about the schools and improving conditions.

http://petersburgschools.blogspot.com/

Obviously, I love blogging.

Please Visit a Fellow Blogger's Blog!

I love "The Liz Army" blog.  The author is a young lady battling brain cancer.  The first time I found her blog, I connected.  Here is one of her most recent posts about Neuropsychology.  I think it is one area both doctors and insurance companies fall well short.  Melissa can tell you, some days are good day, some are bad, but every day, she feels effects that she can not even begin to truly explain.  Forgetfulness, mood swings, insomnia, and lack of concentration all adding to an already complicated and messed up situation...things an oncologist is, frankly, not trained to treat.  The kind of testing she explains should happen to ANYONE who has brain issues.

http://thelizarmy.com/2013/08/neuropsychological-testing/

Update - 8/15/2013

Melissa had a few good days and some bad days.  When she feels good, things are good.  When she feels bad...well, you get the picture.  I will be glad when little man goes back to school, because that will mean more structure and activity for him and less work for Melissa.  We could neither find nor afford child-care this summer and things have been shaky, at best.  I do the best I can to get little man out and do things, but I am forced to work and it literally.  I do not want to sound like I am attacking Melissa's ability to be a good mother...she is one...but her fuse, motivation, and energy levels are definitely a recipe for disaster when it comes to caring for a 6 yo....but with some compromise and a regular lunch visit from Daddy, things seem to have gone pretty well, given the circumstances we have faced this summer.  If she continues to feel the way she has the past 6 months, this will likely be the last summer, for a while at least, that little man will get to spend at home.  I will just have to be more proactive to get him into a summer program or camp next year.

I am constantly having to worry about so much...and it is no ones fault...it is just how it is.  There is never enough time for everything and it sucks, because, I want to have things under control and that is just not really possible with Cancer attacking a family member.  At first, the "One Day at a Time" approach seemed to work for me, but that doesn't apply to children, bills, or managing a household.  When the diagnosis is fresh and everyone is still in shock, help pours in...but after a few months I find myself alone again, trying to "swim upstream against a vicious current".  Frankly, I would not know where to start to even ask for help and really hate asking for it...and most of the things I just prefer to do myself, anyway...ya know, unless someone wants to go to work for me or pay some bills.  No takers?  Can't blame you.  I have never been a person you expected hand outs or, for that matter, bummed or asked friends for help.  It has always been the other way around, if anything.  I have invited friends without a place to go into my house, sometimes for years...helped everyone I know move at least once...even give change to the homeless...that good karma has to come back around.  In the mean time, I will just keep on keeping on.  

A Man on a Mission!

Though it is MY birthday around the corner, I want to do something to motivate Melissa....she needs a new lap top.  We have both been "limping through" for years with our lap top, which has been overheating and has a bad battery, making it far from mobile.  I think a new (or gently used) lap top could motivate her to get out of the house a little.  I am not sure my approach just yet...if I will try to start a fundraiser online or send out some emails and letters.  Let me know if you have any ideas or can help!

Update! 8/9/2013

Melissa has been doing pretty well lately and is even back on her chemo meds.  I would love to see more activity, but heck, I know everything is harder these days.  Little man is ready for school and excited, no matter where he attends.  We have been exploring moving options, but that is easier said then done, these days, both physically and financially.  The idea of moving (as I would be the one doing most of it) is scary too.  I will keep everyone posted.

Football season has returned.  It is my thing.  I like video games and movies...I love guitar and music...I am crazy flipping insane about Redskins Football.  This Saturday, weather permitting, I will be in the VIP area of training camp, recognized as a social media contributor and super-fan (a fairly accurate description), and I am pretty excited.  Football is the reason I probably didn't loose my mind last November when the entire "Brain Cancer" drama ensued.  It is nice to have my thing back...we all need a thing.

Not Much Greater 9 Months Later

Every cancer patients situation is unique.  Complications and challenges vary depending on so many different variables that even doctors do not know what to expect all of the time.  Most will not even began to delve into the "well, this could happen" realm, hitting only the high points, setting you up for shock when each challenge arrives.  Despite a lack of knowledge...stumbling into the abyss...you just try to keep up with life, a challenge in-of it's self.  The only thing I seem to find in common with most cancer patient and survivor stories is the cost of health care and fact that whatever your challenges are, they seem to come out of no where and suck.  Here we are, 9 months later, Melissa in remission, yet, our challenges seem harder then ever...financially, mentally, and physically.  I begin to wonder, do severe cancer patients ever really recover?  Sure, there are those ones, driven to survive and regain the active lifestyle they once had...but, what about normal people?  Do they ever "get better"?  There is no simple answer...yes, some "survive", but they will find themselves in what I have called the "new normal".  Our "new normal" includes, but is certainly not limited to, Melissa being unable to do much physically, almost numb emotionally, countless medications, and lots of debt, just to name a few.  For me, as the caregiver and sole income maker, I find myself also stuck, in many different ways.  As much as I like my job and need to work for money and health insurance, I probably need to spend more time at home, and long to do so every day.  I would love to move to a better location, but money is becoming harder to save every day and it is very hard to find a new place working all the time.  I find myself near spoiling my own child just to have some good times for a few minutes.  I have to admit, I have placed myself far down my priority list in my life...and it is having it's effects.  Melissa has no real priority list...and honestly, I can not blame her.  She has handled things far better than I would have imagined myself handling them...and, anyway, there is no hand-book for things that suck this bad.  It seems that, for me at least, I have had to trade my "happy-go-lucky" attitude for a "worry, too busy, not-so-lucky, WTF" attitude.  You can't really plan ahead and any plan you may have had, before cancer, is now impossible.  Seeing other peoples lives moving forward is hard to watch sometimes.

We are just not much greater 9 months later.

You can tell I am a bit frustrated.  It comes and goes...no ones fault...not much anyone can do.  It is when my blog is the most active, though...so readers beware.  haha...

I am so glad we got to go to San Diego...because for a few moments there, I think I may have even forgot about cancer for a few moments.  Those things are so important, even though it may seem to some excessive.  I am telling you first hand, a vacation every month would not be enough sometimes...there can never be too much fun or frivolous things when cancer invades your family.  Organization like 3LittleBirds4Life, who helped send us on vacation, are so important.  They help you create moments when you desperately need them.  

The Vacation - The Grande Finale!

Here are a few pictures from our picnic in Balboa Park...first class and wonderful...the only way Wedding by Di does it.

Wednesday afternoon visited Old Town in San Diego and the Fiesta de Reyes!  The outdoor restaurant ran year around...THAT is how good the weather is in San Diego.

The many places on earth where you may find yourself surrounded by beautiful vistas, warmed by the sun, cooled by the breeze, and completely comfortable with your surroundings.  San Diego has several places like this...perhaps hundreds, if I stayed long enough to find them all.  Balboa Park was one of those places.  One large piece of Balboa Park is the San Diego Zoo.

Thursday was a fantastic day, weather wise...at least for us.  It was about 79-80 degrees, partially sunny and about 40% humidity.  Most of the world would kill for this weather, but for San Diego, this was a hot day.  I heard one local even refer to it as a "heat wave".  For us, it was the perfect day for the San Diego Zoo.

The entrance sets the tone.  It is fairly breath-taking.

Needless to say, we covered the entire park...partially by foot the later by bus tour.

These guys were massive!

The San Diego Zoo was amazing!

Melissa was dog tired after a day on her feat, so Friday was a perfect day for me and little man to venture up to Carlsbad, CA.  This part of the trip was for me and little man, for sure.  About 3 weeks before our trip, on a whim, I contacted the media people and fan club for Tony Hawk.  When grilled by Michael about who lived in San Diego, Tony Hawk was the only name that popped into my head that lived there...and when I did, he lit up saying, "Oh Dad!  Can we meet Tony Hawk?"  So I did my best to make magic happen.  Within a day of emailing them, the Fan Club President (and super duper cool chick) contacted me back and we made plans.  Today was the day those plans where to take place.  Tony was off to the X-Games in Munich (though, I had already met him at the airport while waiting for our bags to arrive).  The pictures tell the story pretty well, but one thing I will add is that the people there were so nice...so open and down to earth, despite being part of a mutli-million dollar series of companies...Tony Hawk is just a nice guy who seems to hire and surround himself with good people...a success strategy I wish our Government and big business would consider.

Love the mullet.

The bounty...what a cool thing to do for us. 

It is hard to imagine just how big this half pipe is until you see it in person.  It is a one-of-a-kind, built and designed for being taken apart and packed into just 1 tractor trailer truck and can be set up anywhere.  It is just the kind of toy a legend like Tony Hawk would be expected to have at his disposal.

The picture above and below are of Tony Hawk's office.  The picture above has little man messing with Tony's very first board...as I was saying "Please do not break anything!"

I was a bit beside myself.  Though I have never been able to quite get the hang of skateboarding, I have followed since the Bones Brigade.  The music, clothes, and culture of skating was just cool to me.  Plus, Tony was one of the guys who turned his passion into a business...paved a path for future skaters to follow...created an entire industry and sport from a passion.  Powerful stuff...to be that successful and let me stomp around your office and things, tells me he made it through all that and is still a nice guy.

After we left, I couldn't help by fantasize about how cool it must be to work doing something you both love and are really good at.  Then I thought about my passions.  How could I turn work for my passions?  How cool would it be to work for Tony Hawk?  ...to be part of something so dynamic yet, kind of simple because it was just people being themselves and doing what they love.  These thoughts haunt me daily now...and that, frankly, is a good thing.  I need that kind of motivation.  Right now, I am stuck, like most Americans, but further complicated by our situation with Cancer.  I neither hate what I do for a living or who I work for, but I am not passionate about it...it is just work.

I used my natural navigating skills, now just settling to the west coast, to steer us in to Legoland in Carlsbad, CA.  I have to say, for big kids and adults, it was a bit corny, but for the little kids, it was impressive.  Kids from 4 up could ride almost anything in the park.  The water park thing (in one of the picture below) was the biggest hit.

We got home from our day about 8pm or so, ordered in pizza and had an early night.  We were all pretty worn out by then.

Saturday was our leisure day.  We decided to go to Fashion Valley Mall to find a new carry-on for our flight home.  Next time, I may not even need to check bags.

Sunday, early, our wake-up call did not happen, so we hit the ground running and got to our flight just in time.

I will greatly miss San Diego.  When got on the plane (a vintage mid-80's model, BTW), I was really hating having to leave.  Now, almost a month later, I feel what I can only describe as "home sickness" for a place I hardly had a chance to get to know.  Maybe one day...